My grandmother is battling cancer and is currently undergoing chemotherapy.  She lives with my mother, who is a nurse and works 3^rd shift on most Saturdays and Sundays.  I have the amazing privilege of getting to share time with my grandmother when my mother works, spending the night at my mother’s house.  My role is basically to help my grandmother if she needs it, which usually amounts to just getting her food and drink at the appropriate times.

I spend most of my time just watching television, sometimes by myself but often with my grandmother.  I also often surf the internet, messing around on FaceBook, and on rare occasions, I do actual work.  What I have found though is that the most cherished times I have are those when my grandmother and I just sit and talk.  Not surprisingly, our conversations often turn to faith.

My grandmother has been a faithful follower of Christ for nearly her entire life.  She’s 84 now, and she has always read her Bible nearly every day.

Saturday night, I was out in the living room, and she was in her bedroom when she called to me.

“Hey, Sean, come here.  I want to ask you something.”

When I entered the room, she was sitting up on the edge of her bed, kind of breathing heavily.  Her breathing is often labored, especially after a trek to the bathroom down the hall.  She’s undergoing chemotherapy for lung and liver cancer, and she’s also experiencing the side-effects of quitting smoking after nearly 70 years of the habit, so this is no surprise.  She has to consciously think about how she’s breathing, making sure she’s breathing through her nose and not her mouth, because the oxygen tube contraption supplies her oxygen through her nose.

Well, on this night, she had been trying to go to sleep and had been unable to do so.  She was trying to articulate to me what she was experiencing but simply couldn’t find the words.  I wasn’t really sure if there was something wrong with her, whether she was in some sort of pain or short of breath, or whether she was fearful or worried or anxious.  I had no idea.  She couldn’t find the right words to explain it to me.

We debated whether to call my mother at work, but I figured if I did all it would do would be to make her worry.  I also had no idea what to tell her.  I finally deduced that my grandmother was just so wrapped up in the thinking side of breathing that she couldn’t shut off her mind enough to go to sleep.  It struck me as quite remarkable how we mostly healthy folk take breathing for granted.  I suppose even that relatively simple and natural act is truly a blessing as well.

Anyway, as I lay there on the bed next to my grandmother, the Spirit spoke to my heart.  He said, “Pray with her.  Seek me for the peace only I can give her.”

In my nearly 40 years of life, I had never prayed with my grandmother alone, and aside from the occasional “grace” said before a holiday meal, I had never prayed with her at all.

So, I said, “Gram (that’s what we all call her), would you like to pray with me?  We can ask God to help you go to sleep.”

Such a simple, humble request, really—to simply go to sleep, for a peace to settle over one’s mind—and, yet, I believe those are the things in life God desperately craves for us to seek Him for.  It doesn’t always have to be the big things in life.

She gave me a firm, confident, “Yes.”

So, I grabbed her hand, she clutched mine back, and I prayed for her.

Wow, it was such a blessing for me to do it.  I could feel the Spirit’s presence.  I could feel God working and moving.  And while praying for her, I felt blessed, truly blessed.  It brings tears to my eyes as I type this now.

Afterwards, it hit me…she may be so consumed with just trying to heal, with simply trying to breathe, with just trying to find the appetite to eat, that she has stopped regularly talking to God.  I don’t know if this is true or not, but in that thought, I realized that often, we as believers, may be the only voice of God one may get to see or hear.  At least for my grandmother that night, I was.

And, I also realized that part of my identity is Christ is simply being His voice.  A voice of peace, a voice of hope, a voice of comfort, a voice of encouragement.

Then last night, I asked my grandmother if she was still reading her Bible, and she told me she hadn’t read it at all since her diagnosis about two months ago.  I suppose she just hasn’t felt up to it.

She said, “I look at my two Bibles over there on my shelf, and I want to get up and get them but I just don’t.  I used to read them every day.”

So, I said, “I can read them to you, if you want.”

She again firmly and confidently said, “Yes.”

So, I read a few passages from various places, and then read two chapters from the book of Acts.

Again, it was an amazing experience.  As much as she might have been blessed by it, I can only imagine I was blessed ten-fold.  God worked through my grandmother’s need to bless me.

My friends, in Christ, sometimes you have to be His voice.  It’s part of your identity.

From the mouth of Christ…

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

So, here is how that shows up in life…

Do you have a relationship that needs restoration?  His grace is sufficient.

Are you caught up in a sin from which you need yanking?  His grace is sufficient.

Have you suffered a great tragedy and in need of healing?  His grace is sufficient.

Are you angry or worried or fearful of anything?  His grace is sufficient.

Are you covered up in debt, barely able to make ends meet?  His grace is sufficient.

Are you out of work?  His grace is sufficient.

Do you wallow in guilt and shame from your past?  His grace is sufficient.

Is your family broken and seemingly dysfunctional?  His grace is sufficient.

Is your marriage on the brink of destruction?  His grace is sufficient.

Do you find yourself judging every person you meet?  His grace is sufficient.

Do you see yourself as morally superior?  His grace is sufficient.

Do you wreak of pride and arrogance?  His grace is sufficient.

Do you want to have a softer heart?  His grace is sufficient.

Do you wish you could focus less on work and more on your children?  His grace is sufficient.

Are you terminally ill?  His grace is sufficient.

Are you called to the foreign missions?  His grace is sufficient.

Do you want to tithe but can’t seem to make yourself write the check?  His grace is sufficient.

Do you want more opportunities to love the world around you?  His grace is sufficient.

Do you want to spend more time in the Word?  His grace is sufficient.

Are you looking for a new church home?  His grace is sufficient.

Do you have addictions that you hide from the world?  His grace is sufficient.

The questions are endless, but the answer is always the same…

His grace is sufficient.

It doesn’t matter what you are going through, doesn’t matter what you are experiencing.  Ultimately, none of it matters because…

His grace is sufficient for YOU.

Your relationship can be restored by His grace.  Your sin can be overcome by His grace.  You guilt can be erased by His grace.  Your addiction can be conquered by His grace.  You can change by His grace.  Whatever it is you are seeking, it can be found in His grace.

You are covered completely…

BY HIS GRACE!

Friends, if you have never checked out the book I wrote and published, please do.  You can read an excerpt and buy a copy at 20% off the cover price at: www.readtheletters.com

I want what I want, when I want it, and how I want it, and not surprisingly, this applies pretty much across-the-board in my life.  It’s not reserved to just my wife or kids or family or friends.

I want the stoplight to change when I want it to change.  I want people in the car in front of me to drive the way I want them to drive.  I want the cashier to be quick and efficient and pleasant and nice.  I want the bank to waive my maintenance fees without hesitation.  I want the store to honor last weekend’s sale two days past the window of extension.  I want everybody to laugh when I tell a joke.  I want my team to always win.  I want to hit the perfect shot every time I step up to the ball out on the golf course.  I want gas to cost less.  I want people to not post such ridiculous stuff on FaceBook.  The list is actually probably endless, and you know, when these things don’t occur, people better watch out.

A little more close to home, I want my kids to act the way I know they should, the way I expect them to, and the way I know they know is right.  I want my parents to let me be an adult, a spouse, and a parent without butting in.  I want my friends to be friends, but I want them to be friends in the way I need them to be friends, and it better be when I need them.  I want what I want when I want it and how I want it.

Biggest of all, I want my wife to do all of what I expect of her, when I expect it of her, and how I expect it, and when that doesn’t happen, she’s certainly gonna hear about it.  And, if she doesn’t hear about it, trust me, I will almost always find a way to let her know, usually with some form of passive aggressive behavior, like pouting, or slamming doors, or emotionally removing myself for a night.  Yes, this happens…believe it or not!

In a nutshell, in my life, I want to be served…properly, effectively, quickly, and completely.  Life is about me…most of the time.

But, you know what I recently discovered in searching for my true identity in Christ?  It’s better to be a servant than to be served, and not only is it better, but it’s a calling each of us has.

Christ Himself said, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve…” (Mark 10:45)

But, isn’t that approach to life counter to what the world teaches?  Isn’t it counter to what most of us are instinctively inclined to do?  I don’t know about you, but it is for me.

So, how do we flip it around to where we more frequently emulate Christ?

I believe we first have to just stop seeing ourselves as people who need and want to be served.  Rather, we must recognize our true identities.

First and foremost, in Christ, we are…

SERVANTS!

And that identity, that title… it isn’t a conditional one.  We aren’t servants only at church, or only on Sundays, or only in our homes or with our families, friends, or people we like.  We aren’t servants only when we feel like it or when people deserve it.  Simply put, we are servants to the world…all the time…everywhere.  No “ifs, ands, or buts” about it.  No, “well, she didn’t do this or that.”  No, “he did this or that.”  None of that matters…ever.

In every situation, every location, every time, we are called to be…

SERVANTS!

That’s it.  That’s your true identity.  Like Christ, we are here to serve, not be served.  If we get served, awesome, great, splendid.  But, even if we don’t, we must still be…

SERVANTS.

When your spouse acts outside of what you want or expect, serve him or her.  When your children don’t do what you desire, serve them.  When the cashier is clueless, serve him or her.  When the world seems against you, serve it.

So, I ask you…right here, right now, this day, this moment…in what areas of your life must you shift from wanting to be served to knowing you must serve?

If you have no clue, ask God to show you.  He will, because it’s His will for you.

Friends, I greatly appreciate your readership.  Please feel free to share this site with anyone you feel led to.

Now, regardless of what I think about what audacious faith really means and should look like (remember in my last blog that I confessed to a grand amount of judgment), Jacob’s prayer is, in fact, quite bold and very revealing in the area of the power given us in the Spirit and by God, and I mentally pursued what it meant in terms of my true identity in Christ.

Joshua 10:12-14 reads as follows:

“On the day the LORD gave the Amorites over to Israel, Joshua said to the LORD in the presence of Israel:

‘Sun, stand still over Gibeon,
and you, moon, over the Valley of Aijalon.’
So the sun stood still,
and the moon stopped,
till the nation avenged itself on its enemies,

as it is written in the Book of Jashar.

The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day. There has never been a day like it before or since, a day when the LORD listened to a human being. Surely the LORD was fighting for Israel!”

There is so much present in this passage that speaks to our empowerment in the Spirit that I don’t really know where to start, but here is what I do know…I often feel weak and powerless in my faith, in my life, in my marriage, in my home, in my life, and I often feel like even prayer won’t do the trick.

But, here’s the thing, we are given all power and all authority to create our own worlds and existences, and the truth is that if we are in line with God’s will and His truth, our existences and our worlds will be magnificent, despite the regular trials of life.  What typically happens though is that we feel so defeated in our lives that it feels like our hands are tied.

My friends, they aren’t.

Do you want change in your marriage?  Ask God to change it.  Do you want to be different?  Ask God to help you be different.  Do you want your spouse to be different?  Then, ask God to make you be what you need to be so that your spouse can react accordingly.

Be bold, be audacious, be brave, and believe.  Don’t allow the enemy to tell you that you are weak and powerless because you are NOT.  You are powerful and empowered.  That is your true identity.

We have a mighty power at our disposal…we are a new creation, we are already made clean, reconciled, and restored.  We have God living in us, we have the power of the blood of Christ already covering us, we have God’s grace raining down on us, and we have His love consistently extended toward us.

We simply have to receive it in faith, and then extend it to others.

We are not weak, we are not powerless.  In fact, we have the exact same power behind us that Jacob had when he asked God to make the sun stand still.

What do you want to see happen in your life?  If that lines up with God’s truth, be bold and ask Him to do it in, through, and for you.

Do you believe your marriage is to the point of ruin and isn’t fixable?  Well, that’s simply a lie.  God can restore anything and anyone.

Do you believe you are powerless to overcome a sinful struggle?  Well, that too is a lie.  God is sitting there waiting for you to surrender to His will, to be your guide, to cover you in grace, and to see you be all that you really are in Him.  Ask Him for it.  Exercise the power already given to you.  Ask the sun to stand still in your own life in whatever area you are seeking it.  Don’t give in to the lie that you are weak and powerless.  That is NOT you; that is not your identity.

Do you believe your spouse will never change?  Well, that too isn’t necessarily true.  Seek Him for His power, seek Him for His truth about who you are, and then become that truth.  Your spouse will change as a direct course.  I guarantee it.  As you become what you were designed and destined to be, the world around you will change.  Will it be perfect?  Of course not.  We live in a fallen world, and people will forever have their own free will to do as they choose.  But, trust me, as you change yourself, those around you will be different.

Anyway, here is what I realized as I read about Jacob and his audacious prayer…

I am powerful and empowered…but I am only truly empowered in Christ, and my identity isn’t one of weakness and powerlessness and failure.  It is one of power and empowerment.  Apart from Him, I can do nothing.  But, in Him, I will bear much fruit.

I will leave you with this verse:

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

This is how I see myself…not always, but way more often than I should.

I was thinking about this recently when I was out of town at the in-laws the week after Christmas.  I always go walking on this makeshift walking track about a mile up the road from where my family and I stay, and it is so secluded and peaceful that I often spend the majority of my walks praying.

Check out the track…

Well, one of the days we were there last week, I was out there walking like usual, and it was right about sunset.  It was absolutely beautiful.  Check that out too…

Leading up to this beautiful sunset, I had been praying…out loud.  Nobody was around, the air was still and quiet, and there was just an amazing amount of peace present.  I felt peaceful in my body, but my heart was another story altogether.

I was actually praying through a lot of the descriptions I listed in the first paragraph of this blog, and here is what happened.  As I was praying, the sun was setting, and for me, there is just something about a sunset that speaks to me.  It’s like God’s voice comes through perfectly, loudly, and clearly any time I see or experience a sunset.  I have no idea why, but it’s one of the most common ways God reveals Himself to me.  I see and feel His presence, and I often hear His voice.  This day was no exception.

As I was talking to Him, mostly in a self-loathing tone, using self-loathing words, and with a feeling of hopelessness that only true self-loathing can bring, He spoke to my heart.  No, not audibly, but I was covered in a “knowing,” this perfect sense of complete truth being revealed.  The sun was nearly gone, and this is what He said…

NONE OF THAT IS WHO YOU ARE.

I stopped on the track and just looked at the sunset, and I was covered in a full-body warmth.

YOU ARE A NEW CREATION.

God tells us in His Word, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

As God’s truth was revealed to me out there on that secluded, deserted walking track, it hit me…I don’t know who I really am.  I often feel the stuff listed above about myself, but God tells me that I’m not the old Sean I was before I came to know Christ.  I am a new creation.  The old has gone, and the new is here.  It’s ALREADY here.  I don’t have to do anything more or better.  It’s already occurred.

Yes, I choose to act like the old Sean regularly, and I probably will til the day I die.  But, that’s not the real me, not the new me that God created the day I came to know His Son.  All the self-loathing thoughts, all the sinful actions, all the failures and fears, all of that negative stuff, it’s not the real me; it’s all founded on the lies of the enemy.

Something else hit me as I was out there walking…all the crud of my life that I cause with my thoughts, words, and actions, all of the stuff that falls outside the will of God, it comes from mistakenly seeing myself as the old Sean, not the new creation I really am.

So, this is the ultimate message God gave to me out there that day last week, “Figure out who you are, who you really are…in ME…not the you that is steeped in the flesh or worldly pursuits…but the you that is healed, clean, reconciled, and restored because of My Son.  Study my Word, read how I see you, how I love you.  Find your real identity.  Love yourself as I love you, because until you do, you will NEVER be able to truly love others the way I have called you to do.”

“‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Matthew 12:30)

So, I am on a quest…to find my true identity in Him.  For the month of January, I hope to be writing about identity, my and our true identities in Christ.

You may ask what this has to do with a healthy marriage.  Well, if we can’t truly love others if we don’t love ourselves, if we don’t see ourselves as God sees us, then how could we possibly expect to love our spouses the way God has called us to do.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25)

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)

I encourage you to come along on the journey with me.  As you read the Word, look for truth about who you really are.  You may not be like I am, you may not see yourself from a skewed point-of-view, but then again, you might.  The enemy is very crafty, and I believe one of his greatest attacks is to get us to see ourselves from the wrong perspective.

Anyway, I hope each of you had a blessed Christmas and merry New Year, and I pray that this year is your greatest ever.

How often we find value in things outside of what we KNOW we are supposed to be doing!  I know I should be writing every day and posting on this blog every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  I know I should be diving into the Word every morning, but I often don’t.  I know I need to spend time in prayer, meditation, and listening to God, but I often don’t.  I know I should be serving others in many, many ways, and I often don’t.  I know I should exercise, but I rarely do.  I know I should go to bed earlier, but I often stay up late.  I know I should not snack in the evenings or at night, but I often find myself doing just that.  I know I should respond differently to my children at times, and I often fail them.  The list goes on and on and on and on, and here is what I have come to realize…

Ultimately, I do what I want to do.  Ultimately, I gravitate toward what I truly place value on.

Sigmund Freud came up with a theory called “The Pleasure Principle,” and in this theory, he stated that people naturally seek pleasure and avoid pain.  I have seen this play out in my own life, but spiritually speaking, I have come up with a new theory.  I call it “The Value Principle.”

Here is what I mean…

Take someone whose current financial situation isn’t great.  Income lower than it used to be, bills higher than they’ve ever been, monthly budget way out of whack, debt out the ears, falling behind on rent, car payments, and barely making ends meet.  This type of financial environment is currently running rampant in our country.  But, you know what, the people who are in this situation or complain about having no money, they often find the means to do the things they want to do.  The latest movie out…they see it.  The newest restaurant to hit the scene…they try it.  The latest fashion trend…they wear it.

And, why?  Because ultimately, they value the new movie, the new restaurant, and the new clothing more than they do paying down their debt or moving forward in their situation.  They may say they want to save money, they may say they want to conserve, and they may say they want to pay off their debt, but, the truth is…they don’t do the things necessary to even begin to do that.  So, what’s the reality?  The reality is they value the movie more than debt freedom; they value the exciting dining experience over financial relief.

Now, this is not a judgmental indictment of any particular person, group of people, or anybody specific.  We ALL do this in our own ways, in our own “valuable” areas of life.

For example, I say I value my wife, but I often treat her in ways that are degrading, mean, and not loving.  If I truly valued her, I would be different, I would act differently, and I would show her my love differently, even when she wasn’t present.  The truth is…in all of those moments, I value ME more than I value HER.  I can say all day that I value her, but if I did, I would BE DIFFERENT.

Just like the guy who says he wants to pay off his bills won’t go to the latest movie if he really wants debt relief, if I want to be what God tells me to be in my marriage, I would “love my wife like Christ loved the church.” (Ephesians 5:25). If not, I’m valuing my needs and wants more than I’m valuing God’s truth and more than I’m valuing her, regardless of what I SAY I WANT to do.

That may sound harsh, but it’s the reality.  If you don’t like it, I strongly, strongly encourage you to seek God for His truth.  Sometimes, God’s truth is harsh to us!

What are you finding value in?  Is it of God?  Is it founded on TRUTH?  Or, are you just saying you want to value certain things and then doing another?

If I want to get really, really deep into it, I have to face the reality that Christ Himself tells me, “Die to self.” (Matthew 16:24-25)  If I want to really face who I am in Christ, I have to accept that Paul told me to do “nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit” and “to look not only to my own interests but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

Yikes!  Really?  I have to die to self and think of others?  What if I want what I want?  What if I want to do what I want to do?  What if I find value in ME?

In very, very casual terms, God says, “Stuff it.  Do what I say or you don’t really VALUE Me.” The actual verse says, “If you love me, keep my commands.” (John 14:15)

So, I ask you…what are you saying you value in life and what are you really doing about it?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Lean not on your own understanding.

Wow, don’t we all do this most of the time?

Let’s say you worked a job that paid you an annual salary of $35,000, and you went off job-hunting, searching for something that paid a little better, perhaps doing something you enjoyed a little bit more.  And, let’s say you went to several interviews and finally were offered a position at a different company doing something you thought you would really enjoy, and just for fun, let’s say they offered you double what you were already making at your other job.  Yes, that’s right!  This new company offered you a salary of $70,000.

Now, I’m not so sure I know a single person that would NOT take that job.  Not a one, and if you are reading this blog and think you are that person, guess again!

My point is this…in the above example, let’s say you were a person with a very developed and fervent prayer life, and as such, you quite regularly “heard” God speaking to you.  So, as you had prayed about your old job situation, God had told you to seek employment elsewhere, so you did, and in your search, God had told you to “trust Him,” which you had done all throughout the interviewing process at a number of different companies.  This “trust” had led you to believe that God would present to you the perfect opportunity for your next place of employment, so when this new job offer presented itself and it paid double your old salary and was a job doing something you knew you would enjoy way more than your old job, it seemed pretty logical this was the very thing God had been leading you to the whole time.

Most of us, and I admit I would be the first in line to jump at the new job, would stop our praying as soon as the new boss said, “When can you start?”  Yes, you know most of us would do just that.  Heck, it’s double the salary and the job description fits you perfectly!  “I’ll take it” would probably come flying out of your mouth without a second thought.

You see, some situations appear to be so obvious to our human brains that we instinctively “lean on our own understanding” when the truth of the matter is that sometimes, God might have something else in store for us.  That $70,000 job might NOT be God’s truth; it might just be our own understanding.  Perhaps God’s truth is a job making $17,500/year (half of what you were making) doing something we have no idea if we’ll love or not, and perhaps at that job, making way less than we think we can even live on, God brings a person across our path whose life He changes forever through our interaction with them.

Perhaps!  Perhaps not!  The point here isn’t about the job or the income or even our level of enjoyment.  This is just a silly scenario I concocted to make the point that we will never know for sure what God’s truth is for any situation in life if we don’t go to Him for the answer.  The truth will never be known if we don’t actively seek Him and then trust in Him completely, even if what He tells us isn’t what most of us would very quickly and obviously choose.

It’s just so easy for us to lean on our own understanding sometimes, when the reality is that God’s truth sometimes flies in the face of what seems logical to our human brains.

Think about when God told Abraham to sacrifice his only son, Isaac.  What if Abraham had leaned on his own understanding?

What about when God told Noah to build an ark because the earth was going to get flooded?

What about when God told Joshua to march around the city of Jericho?  You think his understanding of this command would have made sense?

You see, when God really reveals something to us, it’s truth, and we are called and commanded to trust it.  The problem comes when our fleshly desires make us think our truth is really God’s truth.  Yes, sometimes they line up perfectly, but sometimes, the $70,000 job is the one God is telling us to turn down.

Friends, seek Him for the truth.  Maybe, just maybe, a true opportunity is waiting right around the corner.

“It’s not been good for years.”

“We haven’t gotten along in forever.”

“We got married too young.”

“She only cares about the kids.”

“He only cares about his work.”

“We stopped loving each other a long time ago.”

“I still love her; I’m just not in love with her.”

“I’m in love with someone else.”

“I never really got to be single.”

“I just want to be free.”

“He did this to me.”

“She thinks she wants this, so I’m gonna give her what she thinks she wants.”

And on, and on, and on, and on…it’s always the same.

I sat in a local establishment yesterday working on my computer, and as I sat typing away, I heard the sound of crying.  I lifted my head and looked to my left, and there was a man and a woman sitting at an adjacent booth.  The woman’s face was beet red, tears were streaming down her face to the point of her not being able to control them.  The man sat there calmly, often fumbling through his blackberry, most of the time just listening to the rant that was occurring right in front of him.

I didn’t listen intently, but this is the basic message of what I heard.

“You did this.  You never did this.  You don’t care.  She got straight A’s because of me.  Just me.  You didn’t do that.  I was always the one who did this.”  This went on and on and on, and the man just sat there and took it.  I’m guessing he learned a long time ago to just sit and listen to the accusations, the attacks, the degradations, etc.

He finally did speak, and this is what he said…”You’re wrong about everything, and you always have been.”

That’s it.  That’s all he said.

The woman quickly retorted, “Ah, I can’t take this anymore.”  She collected her belongings and left.  No goodbye, nothing.  One minute she was throwing out accusations like they were Christmas gifts, tears streaming down her cheeks, and the next, she was gone.

And, here is what I realized…

We’re all selfish.  Every last one of us.

The truth of the matter is…we want what we want, when we want it, and how we want it, and when we don’t get it, it’s everybody else’s fault.  And, over time, our resentment grows and grows and grows until one day, we wake up and think we don’t even like the person sleeping next to us.  But, the truth is, we’ve simply been so selfish for so many years that we really don’t like ourselves.

My friends, I’m a selfish person, I’m a big, old screw-up, and the sad reality is that I will continue to be a selfish screw-up for the rest of my life.  I’ve come to realize that the only way I can keep things together is to let God do it for me and to let go of myself and all my selfish wants and needs.

When I want what I want, I’m gonna get mad at my wife if she doesn’t give it to me, whatever it is, unless I look to God for the TRUTH, unless I look to Him for the strength to care more about what she wants than what I want.

Scripture tells us a few things that might help us be a little less selfish and a little more sacrificial.  Meditate on these, and ask God to reveal to you the states of your hearts as they pertain to selflessness and sacrifice, because ultimately, that’s how marriages stay together…

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

“(Love) does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:5)

And how do we do this?  John tells us…

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

Friends, remain in Him.